ginafata

Decisions

Gina Fata — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:29:11 +0000

Why is it that when we make a decision, sometimes that decision turns around, flips upside down and makes you crazy?? Sometimes you think you make a good decision for yourself and then you realized it was not the best decision. Then when you have to face the reality of that decision, and you miss a part of that new decision your life seems so confusing. One day you thought one thing and then 5 months later you realize that maybe that decision was not the best decision. Maybe the decisions you made in the past 4 months were all based off of what the circumstances were. Maybe the decisions you make for yourself are so damned important, that if you think too fast, soon enough they will come eating away at you to make you second guess yourself. The decisions we make are ones that WE have to live with on our own. We cannot decide to please someone else or to make a decision that is not thought out with Wisdom. This decision I made about something I keep referring to in July was a decision I thought was a good decision. I still think that the decision I made later on was better for the “other party” involved, but I am feeling so much shame about it. I feel shame about it because it has felt like I went back on my word. It was like I went back on my word with something I thought at the time was what I wanted. When I later realized that I didn’t have the right environment and/or cash to properly do what was necessary for this “other party” I realized that maybe I made a mistake. I think everything we experience in life is a lesson, but this one still hurts. It still hurts because I feel shame. I feel like I jumped into something that I wasn’t truly ready for. At the time, I thought I was but later on it turned out that it was something bigger than I expected. We all make mistakes, but the shame that we feel after we let ourselves down is hard to get over. Decisions are difficult, shame hits us hard and wisdom is the key to keeping us balanced.

Reflecting

Gina Fata — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 01:57:55 +0000

Today, as I was on the phone with my mother, (who can be unintentionally judgmental in her defense), I noticed how defensive I felt myself getting over the issue that consistently appears as a shift in my life…”career”. Oh, if you ONLY KNEW how many jobs/careers/hobbies I have had in the 30 years of my living thus far. I have done everything from going to clown school, dance school, boxing, to olympic weightlifting to working as a strength coach to working at a pole dancing studio to now teaching Spinning, practicing yoga, lifting weights and most recently I now work as an Assistant for a pretty significant organization in NYC. Oh, and those are just SOME of the highlights. I also left out figure/bodybuilding competitor and… something I’m very proud of which is that I am a woman recovered from an eating disorder. I used to not go out because I was so obsessed with food/dieting, etc. Being free and recovered from an eating disorder is a pretty amazing accomplishment. It is not easy, and I struggle with the “mind chatter” at least 4 times a day that will try to creep in and get me to go back to old behaviors/habits. I struggled with some form or another of an eating disorder from the time that I was about 2 years old. The struggle BEGAN when I “chewed the rug” in my living room on Christmas day at 2 years old. The struggle ENDED the day I decided that I wanted to be free in 2010. I reflect back to my life today, because I really have come a long way. I used to be “stuck” in the sense that I didn’t know really who or what I was going for in my life. I was walking around the same mountain over and over and over again. I would have an “urge” to go out and do something, so I just did it. Now, most people don’t just wake up and say “hey I think I want to try boxing and be like Laila Ali” and then actually do it…..but I did. When I got a jab at my face the first time in the ring, then I decided that I didn’t want to do that anymore. I tried many things and either got over them and stopped doing them or found something new to try. I dated many men….. but as ironic as it may seem, they were basically the same person in different bodies. I think I was looking for a better version of my father…..but I realized that I can’t go around dating men to try and “fix them”. When I stopped trying to fix men, accepted myself for who I was I met the man of my dreams. I met a guy that has truly swept me off my feet in every aspect of the word. I reflect back to the days of Mr. H, Mr. E, Mr. P and Mr. J, Mr. K…….oh and we can’t forget about Mr. A! These “Mr.’s” are all code for ex boyfriends if you haven’t figured that out. I think the funniest break-up story is the undercover cop I dated when I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore and he replied: “ok baby, no problem.” That still to this day makes me laugh! So I reflect on my life’s lessons of just GOING FOR IT, carving my path to happiness with every experience and realizing that there are good people out in the world and I can make good friends who will make me laugh and that I can cry with. I reflect that the more I surround myself with positive, encouraging and successful people, the more I get inspired to be that myself. I reflect that I AM really shifting, changing and most of all…..I AM LIVING!

Look behind you….you will see your past.

Gina Fata — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:33:45 +0000

Look behind you….you will see your past. Today I was gathering my comforter to bring to the laundromat a couple of blocks from my apartment, and I put on a hat that I stole from my boyfriend. Well, I took it because it is doing no good sitting in his apartment….so I figured, I will wear the hat and asked him if I could keep it. He was hesitant at first, but then realized that obviously I look better in hats than he does, and he should just give me the damn hat! The hat is a green and white “trucker hat” as he calls it with the band “Manchester Orchestra” on it. Now, literally as I post this I am listening to Manchester Orchestra, because I don’t want to wear something if I don’t know at least a little about it. Anyway, I digress. I walk out the door to bring my very, very dirty comforter to the laundromat, and I hear “Gina, Gina” being screamed to me from across the street. Well, apparently I didn’t see who it was, but let’s just call him Mr. H. Mr. H was a guy that I was SMITTEN over last year. I met him at the gym that I used to go to (until I switched to a different one), and he used to be impressed with how strong I was. I had a crush on this guy,and a big one. I flirted with him, but it got me no where with him, which basically means “he’s just not that into you.” I once saw him with a cute looking chick once as I was getting off the subway as they were making out walking down the street on a Spring day. Ugh that was annoying! But as I walked across the street totally ignoring Mr. H, he decides to strike up a conversation with me. Now, fast forward to 2012, I am with a great guy that treats me well and I truly love. I am not interested in the slightest percent in Mr. H. Our conversation went something like this:

Mr. H: Hey, Gina how’s it going, haven’t seen you in a while?

Me: I’m great thanks.

Mr. H: Are you still working at that place in LIC?

Me: Yes.

Mr. H: Oh, what is it Crossfit?

Me: No, I teach spinning.

Mr. H.: Oh, that’s cool. What are you doing your laundry?

Me: Yea, my comforter is dirty.

Mr. H: What did you get pee on it?

Me: No, it’s just dirty.

Mr. H: Oh.

Me: Yea. ok. bye.

Mr. H: Good seeing you Gina.

Seriously, this made me really recognize that when I looked behind me and saw Mr. H., I realized what an uninteresting human being he really is. He may look attractive, but you know what my boyfriend is not just very attractive, but he is sexy and has an awesome personality. Ladies, the hot gorgeous guys that look like Calvin Klein models are not as great as they seem. Maybe they are nice to look at, but why waste your time talking to someone that has nothing interesting to say to you except to ask you about your dirty comforter? I’ll take my Manchester Orchestra boyfriend with the diesel back and incredible sense of humor over this wanna be model any day. Peace!

Awake, alive and standing in your truth

Gina Fata — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:43:29 +0000

Today I woke up and thought “I need to write this morning, but about what?” Then I just thought of the gratitude I feel for what I have and what will be coming to me in my life and realized that just being alive is truly a blessing. To live my life knowing that I can do things that make me feel “alive” is very sacred to me. I do things that may sound silly or strange to some, but that makes me feel alive. Some of the silly/strange things are dancing and singing around to “Takin it to the streets” by the Doobie Brothers; pretending I’m on a scavenger hunt and getting random people to give me things because I ask for them; taking a Willpower & Grace class with Renee and feeling so connected to the movement and what the teacher is saying that I am ready to cry; laughing so hard at Portlandia episodes with my boyfriend and then pretending that I am the characters on the tv show for the rest of the day just for fun; motivating my riders in my spin classes that I teach to be the best versions of themselves and being truly passionate about it; wearing a flower in my hair just because it makes me feel good; wearing my gold 5 inch heels while I clean my apartment to feel sexy; taking a bubble bath and just allowing myself to slow down; taking yoga class and being able to stay in headstand for longer than 10 seconds; knowing that we all have the potential to change, create and become someone that stands for something great and that inspires others. This awakens me. I stand in my truth, whether it is joy, sadness, anger, disappointment or enlightenment. The stronger and more confident I feel about who I am inside and out, the more free I can be with my life.

Looking at the world with fresh eyes

Gina Fata — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:57:41 +0000

Looking at the world with fresh eyes can be a very difficult thing to do. It requires patience, dedication and non-judgement. I, like most people have fears of staying the same, repeating old behaviors and never getting rid of bad habits. The truth of the matter is, is that we all have the ability to change when we look at the world with fresh eyes. The most important thing to do is to face the fear, stand in your truth and let every bad decision you ever made shatter in front of you. Allowing yourself to be honest with yourself about why you may have reacted in a certain way will be helpful, but at the same time be gentle with yourself. Creating a negative environment for your mind is not going to help, but unfortunately that is where most people steer their minds when life gets rough. What you really need is a fresh sense of self and an outlet for your emotions. Find a way to look at the world in a way that makes you feel confident. Look at the world with fresh eyes “as if” you are the person that you desire to be. “As if” you have the strength to overcome the battles that you faced, knowing that you have the power to change in any aspect of your life. All you need is belief in yourself, knowledge to move forward and commitment to make it happen.

Do you take care of your future self?

Gina Fata — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:51:34 +0000

Today’s blog post is inspired by the following thought: Do something today that your future self will thank you for. How can you put into actions something that will give you a sense of a positive future for your health? If you smoked a pack of cigarettes everyday starting at age 15, would that be something your future self would thank you for as you are walking around with an oxygen tank at age 50? If you drank beer everyday, and later on realized that this was more than just for fun but an addiction that lead to alcoholism, would your future self tell you to quit while you are ahead? Rather, maybe now is the time to do something life-affirming and empowering for yourself. Something that will show up for you in 10, 20 or even 30 years. NOW is the time to take care of your future self. Do something that you can feel good about today, that you reap the rewards of years later. Maybe start exercising…..today. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Eat something that is from nature, grown from the earth and has a mother. Something that has “life” to it. Eat with, move with and receive…..LIFE. You reap what you sew. What are you sewing now that you will reap later? Is it caring for your future self? You are so worth the effort. Go on and care for yourself today, and see how much more you can give to others. You always have a choice.

Emotions are confusing

Gina Fata — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 02:44:33 +0000

It’s amazing how the “thing” that gets you most upset can be your arch enemy in every situation, even if it’s with someone that you know is not out to get you, but it’s just that “thing” that is hard for you to handle. For some…the “thing” is not getting enough attention. For others the “thing” is not being on time. For me, it’s not getting disappointed. That is my “thing”. I know, I know it’s my ego talking and it’s not about me. I’ve heard this all before. “I shouldn’t be so sensitive.” “Why do I take things so personally?” “You need to get over it.” I just get upset when I have expected one thing, and then something happens that changes what I expected to happen. I guess I just feel like I want people to stick to their word. Even if it’s as little as being where you said you would, just don’t disappoint me. Of course we all get disappointed from time to time in life…..but it’s just hard to manage. It’s like these thoughts in my head that say “ok now you’re gonna feel a little down cause you got disappointed by X”. Even though this situation that I was disappointed with wasn’t such a great big deal, I wanted to write about it because this is how I can let my emotions free. This weekend my desire is to go and get some paints to finish up my wall that I’m painting in my bedroom. I feel free and notice I let alot go when I paint, write, practice yoga or dance. I am grateful for finding the words to release the emotions, and I am grateful for the space it leaves me to create something more. I desire this disappoint me to inspire me to be open with strength, confidence and freedom.

Showing interest….not just being interesting

Gina Fata — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:35:41 +0000

After speaking to one of my mentors yesterday (Red), he helped to guide me to a direction of coaching my riders in my classes that gave me a great idea. Not only did he guide me into a great coaching tool, but it showed me how important it is to show interest in people. Today I showed acknowledgment to the rider in my spin class that gave the most effort, and REALLY showed interest. I had all of the riders in my class cheer, clap and scream for his effort. I acknowledged him at the end of class and thanked him for his constant effort in class today and giving 100%. It didn’t mean that he was the best rider or that I liked him more than the others. It meant that he gave his all and never let down. It showed that he was giving his best today. I showed interest in his interest in his effort. I wasn’t being an interesting spin instructor today, I was showing interest.

Achieving Lifelong Health and Well-Being (my summary and take on it))

Gina Fata — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:24:16 +0000

Reblogged from ginafata:

Last week, President Bill Clinton had a conference with an expert panel on health and wellness to discuss the future health of our country. Today, I watched the video of it. I found this Health Matters Conference to be interesting because they kept it REAL! They weren’t sitting complaining about shit or yelling at Americans, they gave solutions to problems that we have and it was clear that we basically all need to work together. The panelists that Bill Clinton moderated were: Jillian Michaels, …

Achieving Lifelong Health and Well-Being (my summary and take on it))

Gina Fata — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:14:49 +0000

Here are some key points that I took away from the conference:

Our world has changed where we don’t just up and die at 65 years old. We’re living longer, but we are relying on doctors, medicine and healthcare to keep us alive and healthy. We need to change our culture, we need group support and community building. Building a community to create change as opposed to getting treatment from a doctor for obesity so that people will then take less medicine, prevent and/or reverse diseases and have less hospital visits. Billie Jean King said something great: “champions adjust”…..we need to adjust to the mess we have made with our health and wellness basically.

Care for yourself then learn how to take care of each other. Let’s use peer support models instead of conventional health care. Countries such as Thailand and Uganda use peer support models so they can be informed about their health, build a community to help each other and get healthier in the process. We needed to be informed about what we are eating, what the nutrition label says on the foods we eat and how it effects us. We need to have a REASON to eat healthier and have a healthier lifestyle. We need to form an emotional connection to being an overall healthy human being (examples: being able to run around with your grandkids, walking your kids down the aisle at their wedding, looking hot in a bathing suit, having more energy etc.) The solution across the panel of experts seemed to be “national culture change.”

They talked for a bit about children and the schools, but they did another conference later on that focused on children so the talk on that was limited. However, a statement was made by one of the panelists that children who eat healthy foods do better in school and are more focused.

President Bill Clinton made a great point, that I thought was very important. He mentioned to the panelists that there are some families that just don’t have alot of disposable income, and buying food that is high in calories in bulk is the only way they can survive and pay the bills. He then asked the panelists for some solutions.

The solutions: Let’s get serious about education, prevention and wellness. If we don’t do that then diabetes will financially eat us alive. Keep people healthy and PREVENT disease rather than TREATING the obesity issue. Families/Parents need to role model actions of a healthy lifestyle. Find the information about what is healthy, look at food labels, exercise daily and you will create a powerful change. Eat less, move more. Take the solution to be a healthier nation out of healthcare. Take the solution away from the doctors and look to change by building communities of people in schools, homes, workplace and churches.

My take home message from this was: Awareness, Community and Prevention = Change

Please feel free to comment or email me at desirebelieveachieve@gmail.com.