Believing in myself, moving foward and setting goals

Believing in myself, moving forward and setting goals has always helped me to grow in all aspects of life.  I recently have had a couple of disappointing things happen in my life, and sometimes it feels like literally the sky is falling on me!  I know that I have some great people in my life that are totally supportive of me, which really helps.  I know that I have alot to be grateful for in this life.  What I struggle with is the overwhelming emotions that are all under one category…… fear.  I panic in fear that my emotions will rule me at all times, and I will feel like someone else other than me is running my life.  This “fear mind” is a demon that I struggle with daily.  As a woman that has struggled with an eating disorder, this demon inside of me will come at me when I am most vulnerable and even more when I am scared or fearful of the future.  Last night for example, my emotions were a mix of fear of the future not turning out how I desire AND a feeling of confusion and disappointment from a friend.  I am not perfect, but I do my best to learn from my mistakes and move on.  I had a hard time with dealing my emotions last night, I wasn’t “present” with what was going on inside enough to move through the feelings, and ended up making some bad food choices to avoid the feelings.  Now today, I recognize my mistakes, start the day over and believe in myself all over again. I made a decision to sit here in Starbucks and write, rather than some other self-destructive behavior.  Choosing a life affirming activity (like me sitting here drinking coffe and writing to clear my mind) over a self destructive behavior was a great decision, and I celebrate that!  Knowing that there are some changes with my life scares me a little, but instead of feeling sorry for myself I decided to take action.  I took action this morning to help shift my life in a positive direction, I believe that I will overcome this struggle that is currently happening and I set a new goal to achieve something even greater by taking action to improve this situation everyday.  Desire, believe and achieve!

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